A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend…
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim
Let’s protest Friendship Day by having hot, friendship-ending sex.
You can’t ruin a friendship with sex that’s like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
My ex wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
Wanna see who your real friends are? Screw up and see who’s still there.
A friend will lend a hand when your’s is tired.
Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.
A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
A friend is like a good bra .. hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always fits you up, makes you look better, always .. close to your heart
All you have to do in life is go out with your friends; Party hard and look twice as good as the bitch standing next to you – Paris Hilton
When my friend doesn’t come to school: 5% – ” I hope they’re ok” & 95% – “That idiot, how dare they leave me alone !!!”
Friends are like boooobs. You’ve go big ones, small ones, real ones and fake ones.
Friendship is like pissing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.
Friends buy you a lunch, best friends eat your lunch.
Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone …
Friends are like potatoes, when you eat em, they die.
My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that make me cry. So i threw a coconut at his face
A post from: funny quotes and sayings
